


the way we talk

by FakePlastikTrees



Series: Winds of Change [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M, post Terrorized
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-12
Updated: 2018-01-12
Packaged: 2019-03-03 19:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13347936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FakePlastikTrees/pseuds/FakePlastikTrees
Summary: Tension's been building up between them, but you can only ignore it for so long.





	the way we talk

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place sometime after Barba finds out about Liv and Tucker. IDK where this came from. I haven't written for this fandom in years, but anyway.

“You know what? Can I get a couple of extra breadsticks, please?” Rafael smiled politely as the older woman behind the counter handed him the pizza he had been thinking about all day. Long weeks required pizza, _this_ pizza, and he was going to really go all out.

 

“Sure!” She said, disappeared into the kitchen and returned with a small paper bag that smelled like garlic infused heaven.

 

Rafael groaned his gratitude and reached for his wallet again, “thank you. How much do I owe you?”

 

“Oh, on the house, sweetheart,” she patted his hand and turned back towards the kitchen, but not before signaling at a customer who’d just entered the small restaurant, “be right with you, honey!”

 

“How are you going to make any money, if you give your food away for free, Marcella?” He called after her, smiling at the sound of her laughing as she went. Just as he was slipping a twenty dollar bill into the Tip jar, a familiar voice made him stop.

 

“I’ve been coming here for years, never have I gotten so much as free cheese packets.”

 

He dropped the bill and turned to find Olivia mere feet away. “I’m a good tipper,” he said and then turned to gather his order.

 

It had been tense between them lately. One moment there would be pleasantries, even lighthearted small talk, and the next they would be down each other’s throats, so Rafael was grateful for the prompt return of Marcella with Olivia’s order before they had to fish for for something banal enough to pass for polite.

 

“One large pepperoni, and a small spaghetti?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” Olivia smirked as she walked up to the counter.

 

He sensed her tense up as the space between them shrunk. He didn’t like it. She had been doing that lately, avoiding eye contact, shrinking away when they passed through doorways together. Sometimes it was enough to set him off and then the tension would return. “Here. Marcella, I’ve got it.” He paid before Olivia could protest.

 

Marcella smiled warmly at him, then turned toward Olivia and said, “Charmer this one.”

 

“He is.”

 

The phone rang somewhere in the kitchen and Marcella excused herself.

 

“You didn’t have to do that.”

 

“It’s no problem,” he held the door open and noted the way she turned her shoulder, careful not to touch him.

 

The night chill was sobering and their eyes met in an earnest smile for a moment. A couple passed them hand in hand, sharing a laugh. They both watched them go for the sake of avoiding speaking.

 

Olivia shivered. “It’s cold.”

 

“You want a ride?” His Lincoln was parked at the curb.

 

He was wearing the yellow scarf she liked. She was sure he’d just left his office; Rafael was a workaholic--something they had in common--yet not a single hair on his hair was out of place. He looked pristine as always. She wondered if he wore suspenders today. “Uh--that’s nice of you, but I’m not far from home, I can walk.”

 

“It’s freezing.”

 

“I’ll take a cab, it’s really not far. Thank you,” she held her food up, “and thank you for dinner.”

 

He bit his cheek, nodded once and wordlessly reached past her to unlock and open the backseat before taking both their food and placing it there.

 

“Rafael, really.”

 

The door slammed shut.

 

“Come with me a second,” he said, took her hand and lead her into a nearby alley, away from the Friday night bustle. Once he thought they had some form of privacy, he rounded on her, “are we going to talk about what’s going between us or are we just going to ignore it until one of us kills the other?”

 

Her jaw dropped and she snorted a laugh, “Rafael, what are you talking about?”

 

“I’m talking about this--animosity the last few days. I’m talking about you avoiding being alone in a room with me if you can help it; I’m talking about the polite, tight lipped smiles you give strangers which are now reserved for me, that’s what I’m talking about.”

 

“I really don’t know what to tell you, I don’t know.”

 

He searched her face, waited for her to look at him but she wouldn’t. He exhaled and took a daring step closer, his voice low when he spoke next, “You kissed me, remember? You kissed _me_ and now you can’t even look at me.”

 

Her jaw tensed as she listened and her nostrils flared as her breathing quickened just a fraction, yet her eyes were aimed elsewhere. She knew if she looked at him she’d lose her reserve and all the effort she’d put into pushing aside this sudden attraction would for nothing.

 

Something snapped between them when he found out about Tucker. They had skirted around the flirting and the casual touches and lingering glances. It was like a rubber band stretching, and it had finally broken that day. Since then it had become more and more difficult to be around each other. And one night, against her better judgement, after too many drinks and a chance encounter at last call, he’d walked her to her cab, he’d held her arm to steady her and she kissed him. Twice, and then got in the cab. The next day, Tucker asked her to go to Paris and she said yes.

 

She’d avoided having this conversation, but now she was standing in a smelly alley and Rafael Barba was demanding explanations she wasn’t sure she could give.

 

“Liv,” he began, “I won’t lie, I’ve wanted to do that for a while. But, I can forget about it. If that’s what you want. It doesn’t have to mean anything. It was just a kiss, right?”

 

Her eyes snapped in his direction now. There was something unreadable in them. “Tucker.”

 

“Yeah,” He nodded, “I know if him.”

 

“He’s a good guy.”

 

“He’s alright.”

 

“He makes me happy.”

 

“I don’t doubt that.”

 

“He’s at my apartment right now, watching Blue’s Clues with Noah.”

 

“Oh, old school Blue’s Clues? I like it.”

 

“It’s good with him, and healthy, and drama free. So what am I doing ruining it with _you_?”

 

She seemed pained, pleading for an answer, as if he could solve this for her.

 

“I can’t answer that for you. It doesn’t have to be ruined though. We can walk out of this alley, I can hand you your food and you can go home to Tucker and Noah. We can keep hating each other occasionally at work and that’ll be that.”

 

“Yeah,” she whispered, closing her eyes when he took her hand and leaned close enough to feel the warmth emanating from him.

 

“Or, I can be the bad guy in whatever this is and I can kiss _you_ this time, see where it goes.”

 

“Rafael--”

 

“You can keep your Blue’s Clues nights with Tucker and I can--take whatever you want to give me. If that’s what you want.”

 

Her free hand slid up between them, resting on his chest; not really pushing but hoping it would be enough of a barrier, except her fingers snaked underneath his scarf and her gaze dropped upon his lips as her breath came out in tiny visible clouds of warmth in the cold enveloping them.

 

“Do you want me to be the bad guy, Liv?”

 

“Oh god,” she whispered, “don’t call me that.” She wished there was a way around this attraction toward him. She liked it when he was nice, she liked it when he was an asshole. If only fighting with him wasn’t so fun, if only he didn’t make her laugh. She sighed. It could have been some sort of response or invitation because Rafael kissed her, hard.

 

One hand found the back of her head while the other circled her waist and pulled her tightly against his chest.

 

She felt a string of shivers from the back of her down to her knees and a soft grunt escaped her as her back hit a wall. She hadn’t even realized they were moving.

 

She smelled of lavender.

 

When Rafael tasted her tongue he realized doing it sober was a whole different experience and he couldn’t help groaning as he pressed his groin into her and groped her ass. He was grateful for the more casual, shorter jacket she wore. He was even more grateful when Olivia took his hand from her ass and pulled it up and inside said jacket, holding his palm firmly against her breast. He squeezed, and she moaned into his mouth, so he did it again. This time she bit his bottom lip and tugged before lunging in again.

 

She arched her body against him, and he pressed her  harder against the wall.

 

Breaking their kiss briefly, she unbuttoned his coat while he unzipped her pants and latched his mouth to her ear.

 

Somewhere in the distance a rowdy group of people made a commotion loud enough to rip them from the moment and they stopped suddenly, both panting heavily, still gripping each other, bodies tingling.

 

“What am I doing?” Olivia breathed, over and over again, “what am I doing, what am I doing.”

 

Rafael pressed his forehead to her cheek and forced his body to relax, difficult as that was with a warm and soft Olivia currently holding onto him with both hands. He moved slowly, tempted to kiss her again but managing to go without. He licked his lips, and met her eyes in the dark.

 

“Fuck,” she cursed under her breath and closed her eyes, placing her hand over Rafael’s chest once again, this time pushing him far enough for them both to get themselves in order. He watched her as he buttoned his coat, waiting. She shrugged, “I don’t know.”

 

He simply smiled and nodded.

 

“This didn’t happen.”

 

“You’ve got it.”

 

After a moment, they walked wordlessly out of the alley. Rafael unlocked his car, handed Olivia her take-out, and said, “See you at work, Lieutenant.”

 

“G’night, Counselor.”


End file.
